whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Sorry my hands just texted you
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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