i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize
