He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
