Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Randomize
