I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
