LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
