Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
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