when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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