broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
