I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
