We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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