wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
