Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
