I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
