she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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