idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
