I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
