My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
i wish my penis had a tongue
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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