If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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