i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
