At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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