Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
