Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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