I accidentally burped into my bong.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
