im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
it wasn't lemon gatorade
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Come on in and take your pants off
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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