I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
no you cant smoke seaweed
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
