...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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