I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
