Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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