I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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