I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
