if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
