She announced her abortion via fbk
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize
