lets start a swedish sibling band together
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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