found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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