I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
