Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
