I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
