it was like his penis was on wheels.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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