No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Randomize
