then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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