Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
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