break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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