Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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