I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
