He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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