no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Randomize