we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
