Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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