Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
