he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Randomize
