East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Randomize
