sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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