I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Randomize
