school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
you told grandpa to call you daddy
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
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