You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
