tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
