I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize