How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
