"it" just moved
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
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