This dress was meant to end up on your floor
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
