I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
