i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
