Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
