We need to rekindle our bromance
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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