I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Less talking, more tequila
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
