We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
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