there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
