So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Randomize
