You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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