We're like a lot better than the average bears
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Liz is crying about burritos again.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
