did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
