If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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